Thoughts for Thriving

Referring to an idea as a seed is a common metaphor that stops short of what is needed to grow the idea versus losing it at the end of a neuron like a seed landing on pavement. We, in a dominant western industrialized society, are very good at suggesting that planting the seed is enough, and now it is the seed’s responsibility to steel itself and turn into a 1,000 year old tree in all its glory. Would we ever actually expect that from a seed? No, we immediately recognize there are other factors beyond the seed’s control at play. 

This fact is the same for us and our ideas. We are not failures if our ideas don’t immediately turn into old growth forests. 

We do have agency over what we do with each seed, including letting them go or saving them when there is a drought. 

When you have an idea like considering what you value from nature a start is taking account of what resources are available to that idea (e.g., time over Summer break), what are threats to its survival (e.g., limited time due to caregiving), what are options to adapt (e.g., modified practice in this season of life until conditions change). 

May 25, 2025

That day...at the library, after the cold snap, moving a frog into the sun. It felt like noticing and being a help instead of a drain on the natural world. It felt small, but it also felt like what the day could hold. I'd do it all day if I could, that is notice and do something useful. It isn't the first time I've warmed a frog. There was a time when a bull frog got stuck in the road after the sun went down. It didn't hop from the moving vehicle or the approach. Once it was scooped up, it settled into the warmth of the hands for the walk to the close by marsh grass. Once there it was ready to hop into the grass. Hopefully, it was enough to get to a better spot than the road. In the past I've hesitated to intervene, as it could be meddling in a 'natural process', which could still be true, but the way I've come to see it, is that I am having impacts each day that are a drain to nature. I have to give back where I can. If some biodiversity is able to keep going a little longer, then that seems like the better call, as the planet veers toward less and less biodiversity. Each day I try to get bolder about how I can exist more responsibly and act more empathetically toward my surroundings. There is a lot to do out there.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Make it a practice to expand how you strengthen the world around you (build). Feel the restoration to your soul too (feel). Listen beyond the noise pollution (sound). Seek what fits where you are (look). Take a creative approach to where you can provide support (amuse). Keep it simple and consider from the other's perspective (connect).

May 19, 2025

That day...yielded me a lot of fresh macarons. Before the pandemic a local patisserie offered classes with the chef to learn how to make the shop's signature dessert (happily, the classes have just resumed this year). It was the first time I took a class without a broader commitment or goal in mind. It was just to engage and explore in my own space. It took willingness and openness to try it solo. Now it is a fond memory; I can still see the 'feet' on the macaron halves, and it is a reminder to stretch sometimes. Since then there has been more wandering of local parks, sampling new sections of books at the library, even big explorations up a volcano and out to sea. Regardless of the grandiosity of the adventure, once underway, presence is the key. I don't have a formula for it. It seems to be a variable combination of being laser focused on some qualities and tuning out others. Reminiscing reminds me that I want to be intentional about finding space to explore again soon.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Recreate or expand on an adventure from childhood (build). Remain open to the adventurous parts of the day (feel). Close your eyes and listen for what there is to discover (sound). Find the beauty and let it wash over you (look). Let it be unexpected (amuse). Explore with someone and revel in what is out there (connect).

May 12, 2025

That day...was a few years ago now when we were just getting on what many of us would call the other side of the pandemic. I was realizing that a lot didn't seem like it was going to return to "normal', and was in a habit of lumping the good and the bad change into the phrase the 'new normal.' Mental health struggles were rampant, especially, among the she/her identifying people in my life who took on an abundance of caregiving. Then there were the kids. The debates about what age was best/worse to be living through a pandemic. While kids are not mini-adults, they are individual humans deserving of respect, not patronization. They also have layers of identity and feel fulfilled doing different things. This was never more apparent than when my barely school aged daughter proclaimed that she missed all the people and needed the people, while her mother only needed more books. That proclamation has stayed close though, as the reminder that she isn't me, and she has different ways of being fulfilled and flexing and adapting. If I'm thriving, then I can nurture her too.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Notice what the kids in your life value (build). Notice their reactions to various situations (feel). Take in the frequency of their vibration (sound). Cultivate their personal style (or way of being, if they don't care about the look part) (look). See how easy it is for them to play (amuse). Get them in nature to absorb its gifts and build respect for what it too (connect).

May 11, 2025

That day…I started saving earthworms (or snails or slugs) struggling across a doomed amount of pavement, I knew I’d crossed into a new acknowledgement of how much I value all that is living around me. The part that’s worth sharing is that it was a little hard. It felt a little new and unusual to stop mid-walk or run and fiddle around with an earthworm for a few moments before carrying on my way. But then it became a thing that I do. And when I walk with others, they scoop up the critters too. More and more I look out for nature. Instead of looking for shells on the beach, I pick-up trash. Instead of pulling out saplings that seed to close to the house, I move them to another part of the yard. Instead of worrying about squirrels eating the birdseed, there are two dishes that all seem to access readily based on the number of animal sightingsIn a world where people have negative impact each day, I’m glad for that day I chose to do something as small as save a life. 

Planting a seed to grow majestically…Let a part of nature be a feature in your story—your seasonal and daily rhythms (build). Go outside (feel). Go outside, listen (sound). Go outside, and watch something for 5 minutes, then again (look). Go outside, and tickle your toes in bare ground (amuse). List a spectrum of things to do this year to support nature (connect).

May 10, 2025

That day…is a work in progress. While I deeply value physical health and see it as part of my core identity, it’s a struggle to deconflict my own health needs from cultural expectations of what I should do. With a past that includes disordered eating, it still takes effort not to slip into negative self-talk or excessive judgment over a perceived unwelcome change in my body. Early in motherhood I resolved to be agnostic body value judgments, including not evaluating myself or making comments (good or bad). I can say I look nice without saying my thighs look nice. This seemed like a solid act to break the cycle, as two of the most impactful comments on the worth of my body came before I was ten from people I loved. I remember everything about those moments, and I internalized that I needed to look a certain way to be worthy. They were small acts with big impacts. Undoing much of that impact has included becoming more knowledgeable about what is healthy and trying out how that feel to me. Finding a rhythm has given me perspective. I run more in Summer. I eat more in Winter. It’s all ok. It’s a work in progress because I do want more health. I don’t just want to run or walk regularly; I also want to lift weights and do Pilates just as regularly. Aiming to make this change looks like adjusting my weekly and daily routines. It’s a work in progress.

Planting a seed to grow majestically…Change something in your surroundings to nurture your physical health (build). Reflect on your feelings of physical health in relation to your day’s activities(feel). Consider the rhythm that nurtures your health (sound). Disentangle looks from physical health (look). Experiment with your choices today (amuse). Imagine how a physically healthy you can support those around you (connect).

May 9, 2025

That day...spent on the porch, still sheltered and also surrounded by the unexpectedness of outside. Time outside on the porch offers a chance to be surprised. It is the norm to see another's day unfolding. This day the anoles were catching horse flies. The real struggle came with keeping the catch from other anoles. Watching this play out inspires awe, but it leaves perspective to linger. Everyone is having a day, whether reptile or mammal. Sometimes the day ends in hunger. Sometimes the day ends in satiety. 

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Learn from the day before and try something new today (build). Experience what the day brings (feel). Aim for balance, so there is something left for tomorrow (sound). Seek the day's opportunities for awe (look). When the day offers surprise, let it grab you (amuse). Give nature space for its day to unfold (connect).

May 8, 2025

That day...I realized a house is a back drop to nurture living I had recently moved into the third house that I would call home as an adult. It was early in the season of 'The Middle', which was the mantra I gave to the idea of wanting more out of my daily living. An organized and styled house was always on order, but that reflection was only one layer deep for me. The revelation was that the organized and styled house could nurture what I wanted from my days--potted plants to tend, nooks ready with pillows for reading with a mug of chai, the drawing notebook and favorite pencils on the desk, Montessori style shelves for my daughter. It's become a yearly activity to consider how spaces are nurturing or if an adaptation is needed--like realizing the chair in the morning is always a little chilly, so giving it a blanket. These intentional touches add an easy rhythm to the days. They create an expanse for me to try the things that matter to me.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Use your living space as a canvas (build). Let your home nurture the feelings you want in your day-to-day (feel). Make changes in your home to evoke the vibrations you want (sound). Your home is yours to reflect the aesthetic you enjoy (look). Experiment by flexing and adapting spaces (amuse). Let only having what you need free you to thoroughly enjoy what you have (connect).

May 5, 2025

That day...picking up trash in a parking lot I find myself multiple days a week. It is a congested area with the all to common debris marking the presence of people--plastic bottles, food wrappers, and to-go cups. Maybe after a significant rain or some other act, an abundance of trash appeared in the ditch. After a week, it seemed it was destined to stay or be carried off in the next downpour. Having done trash pick-ups in my neighborhood, I reached out to a retired neighbor to borrow their trash grabber. I overfilled an entire trash bag in about 30-minutes collecting from, maybe, a 10X10 area. It was depressing. It was also a reminder that I have agency to make change. I don't collect trash daily, but I keep doing it more and more since I started small at beaches a few years ago. I envision that it will be a solid past time in my retirement years. For now, it is gratifying to be more aware of my surroundings and wonder what I can do to effect a positive change. It is a good place to let the mind wander, instead of being distracted by thoughts that take me away from what I value.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Expand on a way you've given back in the past (build). Take notice of your community and let yourself be grateful (feel). Listen for bird calls (sound). Be aware of how people have impacted the surroundings (look). Find the whimsy in your surroundings (amuse). Imagine someone or something else's day (connect).

May 3, 2025

That day...was one of reflection and taking the moment to imagine what his life is actually like. Pets have been a part of most of my life, save for a gap during the transition from childhood to adulthood when I knew I couldn't care for a pet well. At the time, my version of 'well' was more than having the funds for vet bills, it was also entwined with feelings from childhood pets that the commitment is meant to be long-term. Could I make that commitment with a varied schedule and uncertain housing situation? No, I could not. At the end of graduate school, with a house and set employment, it felt right to adopt a cat. My 'Bubba Dubs' was the first pet that I got to do my way, and, well, hopefully his way for all 16ish years. Can we thrive if those around us, human or otherwise are not? I suppose it's a spectrum. I'm a fan of "rising tides, lift all boats". In this case, I didn't want to have a pet that now got to be my house prisoner for 16ish years. Turns out he not only enjoyed looking out the windows but also being outside. Now as a domesticated cat, much like I consider myself a domesticated human, he wanted to be comfortably and safely outside (me too). Over the years this looked like a large dog crate. Leashed walks. Sitting with me on the porch. Eventually, a leash with a weight placed around the yard for maximum observing. My commitment to him was more than survival, it was helping him be fulfilled too.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Consider the role pets place in your life, directly or through those you know (build). Reflect on what their day is like (feel). Listen for the story the pet in your life is sharing (sound). Elevate your pets spaces, without making a purchase (look). Play with a pet when they want to play (amuse). Instead of one-off gifts or as a cause for your club, run a collection for a local shelter (connect).

April 24, 2025

That day...was nearly a decade ago now. As a new mom still early in my career and not rebuilt after graduate school, I wanted to feel like I was living my life. I started scheming after her bedtime. A place to start seemed to be with figuring out who I was. Or maybe letting that person take the lead, instead of having to step aside. The next year entailed a lot of reflecting and experimenting. Read. Rearrange. Make lists. Try things. It felt like living. I was paying attention to what I valued, and it was shaping how I experienced my life. I was more than one thing, with a lot to explore.

Planting a seed to grow majestically...Let values take the lead to infuse living with meaning (build). Values are grounding in times of uncertainty (feel). Slow your mind and listen to the quiet hum of your values to give you comfort (sound). Consider other’s values (look). Values can also bring delight (amuse). Experience dialogue around differing values, with the aim to build empathy for each view (connect).